To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
