Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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