I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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