one might say we're banned from that church
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
