lets start a swedish sibling band together
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?"Â and "Why tacos?"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
