The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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