just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
