Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize