U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
