Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize