stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I will pee on everything he values.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
