I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
This baby is an asshole
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
