he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
