if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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