he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
This is my gift to your gina
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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