Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
