omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
