IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
