you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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