Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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