I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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