So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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