he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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