Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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