Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
