Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
