How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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