got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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