fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
