this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
