I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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