you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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