i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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