I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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