is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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