You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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