I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
