He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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