Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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