youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
