just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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