I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
