OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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