He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
