I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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