Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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