so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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