I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
