It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize