if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
