I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize