From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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