dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
