I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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