Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Randomize
