I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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