There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
