my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize