I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
