.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
