he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
operation have a gay friend backfired
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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